(This post is from guest blogger, Ashley Nihart, a health and life coach. Check out her bio at the end of this post and then stop by her website www.happyhealthyandwell.com for more great tips on living your best life!)
It’s amazing how much fear can hold us back. Fear of the unknown. Fear of what others may think. Fear of failure. Fear of success even. No matter what type of fear is holding you back from achieving your goals, and living your best life, there is a way to move beyond it.
For so long I did what was safe. I went to school, graduated, and got a good job. The whole time I knew, I was not on the path I was meant to live. But fear got in the way. For me, fear was heavily associated with low self esteem and worrying about what others would think. Going out of my comfort zone meant behaving in ways I wasn’t known for. I was the nice, quiet girl. Never outspoken or daring. But going for my dreams meant I had to break this mold so many people knew of me. And it was scary.
What if people didn’t like me? What if I looked foolish? What if everyone would make fun of me? What if I tried and didn’t succeed?
For the longest time, I allowed these fears to hold me back. To keep me from living my best life. I followed the path everyone expected me to follow but never felt fulfilled. Deep down, I knew I was meant for more. I just wasn’t brave enough to go for it.
In an attempt to find meaning and purpose in my life, I read tons of self improvement books. Listened to dozens of podcasts about going for your dreams and loving your life. I found mentorship and guidance through the authors and speakers on these platforms. It was a slow process but eventually, I started to believe in myself. And with this belief I developed bravery.
Now I wish I could say one day I woke up and just went for it. But it didn’t happen that way. It was a very slow process and each day I took one step at a time. The funny thing about fear is, it diminishes as we take action. The more action you take the braver you become. I would publish a post on my website and be so terrified of what people might think, if they read what I revealed. Stories developed in my head. Stories that were probably nothing close to the truth. But it often got the best of me. Sometimes the fear was paralyzing and I couldn’t do anything else for a few days as I calmed down from the rush of fear that overtook my body.
But I would always get back to work and do it again. They say repetition is the key to long term success, and the more I repeated my steps the braver I became. I started to stretch myself even more and reach out to influencers. Some days I was accepted and some days I was rejected. The important thing here, is no matter how terrified I was to put myself out there, I did it anyway. I may have taken a week to recover from the terror, but I still did it.
I learned to embrace fear as part of the process. Rather than trying to avoid it and stay safe, I accepted the fact it was there to keep me safe. We experience fear because our brains want to do everything in their power to keep us safe. We experience fear to prevent shame and failure. When I realized fear was just my mind’s way of keeping me safe I had to figure out how to move beyond fear. My brain was always going to release fear when I was about to do something new and not knowing what the results may be.
I learned to weigh the best against the worse. Fear was giving me the ability to understand the worse case scenario. I believe in the law of polarities. So, for every worse case scenario there is a best case scenario. Anytime fear showed itself I would figure out what that best case scenario was. In most cases the best thing that could happen was worth the risk if the worst thing ended up happening.
Weighing the positive versus the negative allowed me to move beyond fear. I stretched myself and grew. The more I stretched myself the more doors opened to me. As these doors opened a beautiful life began to emerge. A life I love.
Creating this life I love has been a slow process. But through that process I have grown. I have learned so much about myself. I have become braver than I could ever have imagined. And I can truly say, moving through fear, and embracing it as part of the process has shown me how beautiful life can be on the other side of fear.
Ashley Nihart is a certified Health and Life coach, and founder of Happy, Healthy, and Well. She inspires women every day to fall madly in love with their lives. Her desire is to help women understand how to use negative emotions and transform them into a positive mindset that excites and empowers them to live life to the fullest. Ashley is passionate about helping women fall head over heels in love with their life. She aims to inspire others through her weekly newsletters, online training, and one to one coaching. To find out how you can fall madly in love with your life visit Ashley at www.happyhealthyandwell.com.