Hitting a Wall
Have you ever hit a wall and thought there was no way to get around it? I know I have so many times. These walls can be in our relationships, on the job, in our own personal development, or as we work towards accomplishing different goals.
And I will admit that these walls can be downright frustrating! It’s like you’re driving (or sailing or walking) along and things are going well. You are happy, carefree, and optimistic about all that the future will bring. You can see your goal peeking just over the horizon. You’re so close. Suddenly, BAM! There’s a wall directly in front of you blocking what was supposed to be smooth sailing. As far as you look to the right and to the left and up and down all you see is a wall with no end.
So what are you going to do? Retreat? Scream for help? Cry your eyes out? The answer to this is never simple.
My Wall: My Story
What I hate most about these walls is that most of the time, at least for me, they cause fear and doubt to creep in. I begin to rationalize that the goal wasn’t that important in the first place. Or that I was crazy for even thinking that I could do it. Or that it wasn’t really worth my time.
All of this fear and doubt get in the way of my being able to see that sign that says “Heavy Door. Push Here. Keep Pushing Until It Opens.” I’m so engulfed in my own sorrow and self-defeat that I fail to see that there is a way through this obstacle. I just have to be willing to look for it, to work for it, and to never give up on it.
I’m gonna be transparent here about this. Will you allow be to be open and honest? I’ve started and stopped many things because they’ve gotten too hard or too inconvenient. I’ve allowed the wall to tell me to turn around, to give up, that I’m being unrealistic, that this dream isn’t for me. I’ve allowed others to talk me out of a vision that I’ve had for myself.
I’ve allowed doubt to swallow up any confidence or enthusiasm that I had in the first place.
When all the while, my opportunity was just on the other side of that wall.
I got this wall metaphor from a training that I listened to the other night from the great, Garrain Jones, of Herbalife. He said, “On the other side of that wall (of resistance) is the door to more.” How simply put, but how profound.
After losing weight with Herbalife, and seeing how much success my friend was having with her business, I decided to give the business side of it a try. I wanted everyone to feel the way that I did. At first I had a bit of success with my business, but as the “NO’s” came more and more frequently, and I heard more and more people questioning what I was doing, I begin to doubt my ability.
What was I really trying to do? Who did I think I was? Eventually I gave up on it as well as my Thirty-One business telling myself that selling wasn’t for me. In actuality, it was fear that turned me away: fear of failure and fear of everyone else’s opinions of me and what I was trying to do. It has taken the past year of my focusing more on myself, focusing more on my relationship with God and who He says I am in order for me to be willing to give my businesses a second try.
I’ve had to learn that real failure comes from NOT trying, from NOT giving it your all. It comes from allowing fear to dictate your responses to the hard times, to the obstacles, to the wall. Failure comes in giving up before you’ve ever really tried.
So here’s how I plan to get past my own wall and get to the ‘more’ that I know is waiting for me!
How to Get Past the Wall
- Train for success! We all want to be great, but what separates most of us from those who actually achieve their goals is the willingness to learn from others. Many of us just jump out there and think that we can do it all on our own. We think that sheer talent or desire will be enough to keep us going. Even those at the top of their game take the time to regularly educate themselves. They know that that they haven’t learned all that they can, that someone else can have a different insight into a topic, that there is something that can always take them to the next level. If what you’re doing isn’t working or if what you’re going after isn’t as easy to capture as you thought it would be, go learn from someone else. Read a book, take a webinar, ask someone to be your mentor. Do whatever it takes so that lack of knowledge isn’t the reason that you don’t succeed.
- Don’t do it alone! Just like flying solo in life can prove to be rather difficult; trying to achieve your goals completely on your own is crazy. One thing I’ve learned from being in the Direct Selling world is that life is much easier with a team. Not only do they support you, they cheer you on, and they also celebrate your success. Best of all, they share great ideas and tips to help you reach your goals. Find your support tribe and cling to them. Have them hold you accountable and you do the same for them. If you can’t find people already in your life to help you, there’s probably a Facebook community for you. Since connecting with several blogging groups on Facebook, my knowledge, number of readers, and overall confidence have increased steadily. Every day I feel better about what I am doing.
- Don’t let a pebble become a mountain. Is the obstacle in front of you a mountain that you can’t get around? Or is it just a pebble that you’re allowing to keep you from your greatness? Sometimes we allow the smallest excuses to keep us from doing what we know we should be doing. I read this great analogy in one of my Thirty-One Facebook groups. Thank you Adrienne D. Hart for these great words of wisdom! They were right on time! So often we let the smallest things distract us and derail us from our Purpose and Goals. If that small thing persists for more than a couple days, we allow it to grow into an unmovable mountain that blocks our vision. We give up and turn around. We get angry with God for putting a mountain in our way and He says “I put a PEBBLE in your path to see if you trusted me, You gave it the power to block you! Whenever you were ready to humble yourself and seek my face, I would’ve moved it and made your way clear.” Don’t let those small insignificant factors (those hard days, those “No’s”, someone else doing better than you) become bigger than your goal. They’re just small pebbles to be kicked to the side, shaken out of your shoes, and forgotten. Allow them to make you more resilient, more persistent, not make you turn back around, giving up on your dream.
- Don’t be afraid of the challenge. Too many people (including myself) expect for our goals to come easily (especially if it’s something that we’re naturally good at doing). For example, I thought creating a blog would be an easy task, but I’ve had to learn so much just to get it started and to maintain it. It’s so much more than just having an idea and typing it up. From creating the images within the different posts, to making sure my site is secure against hackers, to knowing how to use social media to promote it, it’s been a huge challenge for me. However, it’s a challenge that I’ve grown to love. While writing is easy and enjoyable for me, all of the other factors to blogging have proven that hard work and perseverance are much more important than talent. It’s the same thing with my Herbalife and Thirty-One businesses. I’m completely stepping out of my comfort zone to do both and have to push past my discomfort and insecurities. However, if I want it to be successful, I’m gong to have to face my challenges head on. All I can say is, Bring it on!
- Have fun in the process. Your goals are supposed to be based upon things that you want for yourself that will help enhance your life. So why should the process feel like an arduous task? Learn to embrace the failures as well as the successes. Expect to fall down, but learn to laugh it off, brush yourself off, and keep it moving. Think of those difficult times as great stories to tell in the future when you’re looking to motivate someone else. Set up mini-goals along the way and celebrate each little success as well as the big ones. Get yourself a theme song and play it whenever you’re working on your goal as a way to keep you hyped and motivated. Do whatever you need to do to make the process enjoyable. If you’re having fun, I’m sure you’ll be more likely to stick with it!
I don’t know about you but I am ready to crush my goals! I hope these tips help you the next time you’re facing a wall that seems impassable. I look forward to doing a future post about all that I have accomplished!
What tips do you have for getting past that wall when it slams down and blocks your way? Comment below!