It is human nature to want to be liked and to be accepted. That in itself is not a problem. The problem with the need to be accepted comes when the validation that we get from others begins to shape who we think we are and how valuable we feel we are. Sometimes this is innocent enough. For example, your close friends constantly shower you with compliments and “You, go girls!” They lift you up when you are down and when you are around them you feel on top of the world. It’s healthy to have people around you who see the good in you and make sure you know it and feel it. In contrast, when someone who we deem as “important” to our lives whether it’s a friend, spouse, or boss tells us over and over that what we’re doing, what we’re saying, how we’re living, or the way we dress is not good enough, we may begin to feel that this is true. We may begin to feel that as long as we can win their favor, as long as we can keep them happy with us, then we are worth something. We may even begin to question our abilities and our purpose. We neglect our dreams and our passions and our ideas trying to be the “right” person for someone else. We beat ourselves up if a review or evaluation comes back negative. We instantly regret a decision if it isn’t met by a bunch of head nodding and words of affirmation.
But you are so much more than what one person or even one hundred people can tell you about yourself! God did not make a mistake when He created you!
When we are kids, the biggest part of our lives is having acceptance from our friends and fitting in with the crowd; it is rare to find a confident teen who doesn’t care what his/her classmates think about him/her. Being different is almost like having a disease; kids go out of their way to avoid you, as if your differences are contagious. No one wants to be “that” kid at whom everyone stares and points and laughs.
However, as we grow older, our lives should begin to change. With age comes wisdom. We should start to acknowledge, accept and appreciate our uniqueness, those traits that make us stand out from the crowd, that make us who we are. We should be standing on tables or even shouting from rooftops, “Look at me! See why I’m awesome!” We should never let someone else’s opinion of us to make or break us. We have to become strong enough in ourselves, the person that God has created us to be so that no one or nothing can shake us. Now please don’t get me wrong. I am not in any way saying that we should not be open to constructive criticism when someone is truly trying to help us become a better person or become better at our jobs. The opinions that I am referring to are those that are meant to belittle you or to make you conform to what someone else thinks you should be just because it will make them more comfortable or make them feel in control. I am referring to those opinions that tell you that in order to be a part of my world, to be accepted by me, you must be like this or be like that. I am talking about those opinions that have you questioning your intelligence, your self-esteem, your beauty, your worth. (more…)