Category: Faith, Peace & Love

What Happened to the Golden Rule?

I’m sure while growing up all kids were often told to follow the Golden Rule, especially in school. This reminder normally occurred after one child had been mean to another child and had gotten caught. It was basically a reminder to be kind to one another. However, after hearing this over and over again, most children eventually learned to tune the teacher out and thought of the Golden Rule as another annoying school rule that only served to stop them from having fun. Its importance was not grasped by our young minds, becoming something we could all recite, but not something we practiced daily. (I mean, you have been to school, right? Not the nicest place at times.)

That was then…this is now.

But as adults, you would think that we would have this thing mastered. We would understand that we should treat others the way that we would want to be treated. I mean, the “Golden Rule” is not really some made up rule. It’s so much more than that. It is a guiding principal given by Jesus, yes Jesus, as to how we should treat one another. And it makes perfectly good sense. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all treated other people exactly how we wished they would treat us?

Some days I just want to hide in my house and not deal with other people. I get tired of dealing with rude customer service, people swerving in and out of traffic and blowing horns, people pushing past you without saying “Excuse Me.”  My list could go on and on. I’m not asking for everyone to behave like angels, but what happened to common courtesy and simple manners?

But I can’t stay hidden in my house just to avoid some rude folks, and Jesus wouldn’t want me to do that either. How can I be a light for Him, if I am hiding from the very people He wants me to shine His light on?

No, I’m not perfect (in case you thought that I thought I was), and I am writing this even for myself to remember that while I’m out and about and interacting with others, that it would be wise to remember Jesus’ urging that we do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Unfortunately, we can’t control the actions of others, but we can control what we do and say and how we react to how others treat us. It won’t be easy, but I feel like if more of us tried to show love everywhere we went, to be intentional with it, that we might be surprised by the reactions we get from others. (more…)

Saying No to Doubt (An original poem)

She is stalked, hunted,

Pursued by a supernatural presence

For every attempt she makes to evade it

It falls back in step right behind her

She steps

It steps

She sprints, desperately running for her life

It follows behind, an easy-paced jog

Yet it continues to shadow her

She yells out, breathlessly,

pleadingly

“Why won’t you let me be?”

But it is mockingly silent

For she already knows the answer

It seems to blow in, riding on the wind

In a whisper that is unnaturally loud

“Because I live within you!’ It says

And she know it speaks the truth

This thing she cannot shake

Is something she must deal with from within

A thought that both excites and frightens her

She must elude it

Step by step

Day by day

Until it’s no longer within reach

Until it’s no longer a part of her

Until she accepts the truth about who she is

She knows she’s fighting for

Her potential, her purpose, her dreams

Only until then

Can she be free

Of the doubt that makes her second guess

What she knows is her destiny

What she was created to do, to be

Until she finally stops running

And turns around to face it head on

“Doubt,” she says, “You can no longer control me!”

“You are no longer welcomed here!”

And she steps into the light

Of a brand new day

Where it can’t find her

She smiles

Hopeful & confident

Because she remembers a promise

And accepts the truth

For she knows that with God by her side

Anything,

yes anything,

is possible for her.

Feeling Misunderstood? Some Reasons for Our Confusion

Have you ever been misunderstood? Have you ever had your words and actions misinterpreted? Have you ever set out with the best intentions only to have someone get upset with you and accuse you of being rude, disrespectful, or selfish? I know the answers to these questions are a resounding, “Yes!”

No matter how “good” we are as people, there will be times in our lives where people will get offended by something that we said because they understood it differently than what we meant it to be. You understand what I am saying?

But in those people’s defense, I know that we are also guilty of doing the same thing. We, too, have misunderstood what a person said or meant, gotten offended, upset, resentful because we felt disrespected, hurt, falsely accused by the words that they were saying. Sometimes we find out that they never meant it that way. Sometimes we never find out, and we run around upset with someone who never meant to hurt us. (more…)

You Are Valuable, You Are Loved

In life we all want to feel like we are loved and appreciated by those around us. We want to know that we are valuable to those with whom we spend our time, for whom we spend and give our money, talents, skills, and resources. However, this is not always the case. Some days it feels like the very people that we pour the most energy into are the ones who least appreciate it, the ones who take us for granted the most.

Feeling unappreciated can lead to feelings of resentment and hopelessness. Why am I doing all that I do? What’s the point? No one cares. They don’t realize just how much I do for them!

I feel like women are especially vulnerable to these feelings of being used and unappreciated. Naturally we are nurturers, always looking out for everyone else’s needs, making sure everyone else is taken care of, comfortable, fed, happy, and content.

But in the meantime, as we pour out to others, we are often time left feeling empty with no thank yous coming our way, no we appreciate all that you’ve done. It’s almost as if everything we do is just expected of us. That’s our job, and we shouldn’t expect anyone to acknowledge all that we’ve done.

This “ungrateful” attitude may come from our spouses, our children, our coworkers, our bosses. I can speak on this because, I too, have felt these same feelings. Feeling like this can make you bitter and upset, even make you want to just stop doing what you’re doing. You may want to scream, cry, run away.

Again, I know because I have been there; I have felt that way. I’ve been hurt and discouraged by other’s lack of appreciation. I’ve stood back, resentful and upset, ready to speak my mind about how no one appreciates all that I do. Don’t you now how hard I work for you! 

But this past weekend, I had a revelation, an epiphany, a brand new understanding of how I should view this.

This new understanding is so good, so profound, that I knew I had to share it with others especially other women who right now may be feeling overwhelmed by all that they’re going through, all that they take care of every day.

Who may be frustrated by the lack of appreciation from those to whom they give the most.

Who may be looking for some reason to continue, to keep going, to push forward, to keep giving.

For all of you ladies, this is what I’ve learned.  (more…)

We Are Called to Love

It’s November already.

Wow.

Where has the time gone?

I remember the beginning of this year and the promises that I made to myself to make this year my best year yet. I was determined to be #unbothered by life and people, to focus on setting goals and achieving them, and to change things in my life that were no longer working for my good. I am happy to say that while I may have lost my cool a few times (or many), I didn’t reach all of my goals that I set, and I haven’t made every change that I wanted to make, my life has improved drastically by what I have accomplished thus far.

Spend more time in the presence of God. Check!

Lose weight. Check!

Transfer to a new school. Check!

Reduce my debt. Check!

These were just some of my goals that I made and achieved, and my life has definitely been much more fulfilling. I must say that I am quite proud of myself. When I do my check-ins with my accountability partner, I get a certain sense of satisfaction when I realize all that I’ve done to improve my life and my state of mind.

However, lately something has been missing. There’s been this empty space that’s been longing to be fulfilled. While I’m not a selfish or self-centered person (although we all are in some way), I didn’t feel like I was doing all I needed to do in the area of service. My heart has always gone out for other people (I mean, I am a teacher), but I have not been consistent with going that extra mile to help others.

Lately, I’ve felt the need more to do more to help others especially when I consider how I can have a bigger impact on the lives of my children. How do I really get them to love and to appreciate and to be grateful for their lives and all of the blessings they have?

How do I get them to understand that they should give more than they take in this world?

What is the legacy that I want to leave behind that my children can take up and continue even when I am gone?

That’s when I decided enough was enough. The end of this year would be the beginning of my journey in purposeful serving. In other words, I would be purposely seeking opportunities to be a blessing to others. Some things that I have done thus far:

  1. Gotten more involved in my Raktivist (Random Acts of Kindness Activist) community on Facebook, getting inspired by all of the wonderful, beautiful things other people are doing to serve others selflessly. These people have hearts so big that I don’t know how their chests can contain them.
  2. I’ve joined a campaign this month called Neighborly November. Instead of just doing 30 days of Gratefulness in which most people document 30 things for which they are grateful, we are challenged to put action with our gratitude. Every day I must find a way not to just speak of my gratitude but to actually live it out. (Created by Carrie Wisehart)
  3. I took my younger son (6 years old) to my school’s sorting of the items from our Harvest Drive. We had an enjoyable time while running food from the center of the gym floor to the designated areas around the room. More than 100 families were able to receive food just in time for the beginning of the holidays because of this Harvest Drive. I felt so fulfilled just watching all of the volunteers running back and forth cheerfully sorting food even after a long day of school and work.
  4. I started working on a community service project with my team at work so we can get our students involved in serving others while learning the concept of giving without expecting to receive something in return (more to come on this in future posts).

While it’s easy to live in our bubbles and focus on just our own problems and needs, God has called us to love and serve one another, to use our gifts and talents to be a blessing to others and that’s just what I want to do. I want to do it and teach my children and my students the same thing. I pray that my children and my students will learn to love helping others, not because they will be rewarded, but because it feels good to do so, that they become intrinsically motivated to do what’s right.

I write this post not because I want any accolades or praise but to hold myself accountable. If I tell everyone what I am going to do, I know that people will be checking to see if I’m doing what I said I will do even on those days when I don’t feel like it and just want to focus on self.

Maybe I can motivate others to do the same.

Maybe I can start a small movement.

Maybe I can open more hearts to the love that God has called us all to show.

Stay tuned for more…

In the Eye of the Storm

In life we will all experience many ups and downs, highs and lows, good days and bad days and everything in between.

We are content and excited when we’re up, when we’re on top of the mountain; during that time life is beautiful and we’re dancing with joy.

However, many of us get extremely upset and discouraged when life is down, and we’re looking up from a valley, believing that we don’t deserve to experience the lows of life because we’ve been “good” and that life is just being unfair to us.  Why me? Why me? We fuss; we pout; we whine. We may throw tantrums and even threaten to give up on life. How can we ever recover from such heartache and pain? What’s the point in even trying?

I believe that how we respond when life gets hard, not when life is easy, when we’re in the “eye of the storm” says a lot about our character and our view and appreciation of this gift called life. Our responses during these times affect our happiness because we truly do have the choice to ride out the storm, to run from it, hiding away in fear, or to just let it toss us all around slamming us against waves, drowning us in a sea of despair.

I consider myself to be an optimist, always looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, the silver lining on the cloud. So with the approach of this storm, Hurricane Irma, I am looking for the good that will come from this bad.

I am being hopeful and trusting God to perform a miracle.

I am refusing to let the negative talk make me panic or feel guilty for not evacuating (since this wasn’t really an option for my family).

While I am not pretending this literal storm or the figurative storms of life are easy, enjoyable, or insignificant, I am saying that I will not allow any of these storms to steal my joy or cloud my outlook on life or my hope for my future.

My life definitely has not been all unicorns and rainbows, magical lands and fairy tales. I’ve had so many ups and so many downs as well, but my belief in God, my refusal to give up and give in, and my positive view on life and the belief that I can learn something from everything I experience, all keep me going, moving and pressing forward.

Today, and each day forward, I am choosing to learn the lessons that these storms are bringing to me.

I am choosing God’s joy that He has given me, a joy that cannot be broken just because my circumstances don’t match my heart’s song. I will praise Him during the storm, and I will believe that there’s something greater for me on the other side.

I refuse to be swept away by the storms of life. I will allow the storm to water me so that I may grow and develop even more.

I will love life whether I am in the midst of the storm or I’m riding high on a wave of happiness and peace.

As long as I have Jesus with me, there’s nothing for me to fear.

Mark 4:35-41 (NIV)

Jesus Calms the Storm

35 That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” 36 Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. 37 A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. 38 Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

39 He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!”Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

40 He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

41 They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

A Forgiving Heart: Letting Go, Moving On

Forgiveness.

In theory it sounds so easy to do, but in reality, it can actually prove to be quite difficult.

Small things can easily be forgiven. Oh, you ate my cookies without my permission. I really wanted them, but it’s okay.

While bigger offenses may take time. I can’t believe you lied to me or about me. You stole something valuable that can never be replaced. You hurt someone whom I love. 

Eventually you forgive the person and decide to move on even if it means that you’ll never forget what they’ve done. Sometimes you may think that you have forgiven someone and you really haven’t.

Sometimes you refuse to forgive, the offense just seems too big to let go. How can you release them from the responsibility of all of the pain that they have caused you? How can you let them just go free like that?

You think you’re punishing them for all that you’ve been through.

But is that really the case? Are they really being punished because you refuse to forgive them for what they have done? Are they even aware that you haven’t forgiven them?

Most importantly… do they even care?

(more…)

…So Plan Accordingly

We all live pretty hectic lives, but I feel women are especially focused on and stressed by all of the day-to-day tasks that need to be accomplished. Whether we are wives or mothers or single ladies or career women, we all attempt to have it “all together.” In the midst of this, many things get overlooked, forgotten, pushed aside. Our perpetual to-do lists are constantly on our minds as we race back and forth from place to place, appointment to appointment all the while neglecting the things that are truly important to us, the things that make us feel like women, that make us happy, that give us our sanity. We struggle with how to organize it all so that all of it (or most of it) can actually get completed each day.

One way that I’ve learned to try to “get it all done” is by taking time to plan out my days, my weeks, and my months while taking time to reflect on how well they went, what I could have done better, what I need to change, and what I should continue doing. I’ve used many different planners to try to achieve this, but none of them took into account one matter that has become more and more important to me within the past few years: my faith. I know some people are wondering how a planner can help with my faith. Well, it’s my pleasure to explain.

Since I switched to my Sanctuary Girl Faith Planner, my life has changed. For a while, my relationship and time with God were separate from my daily to-do list. It was almost as if it that time was something separate from my “real” life. However, since getting my planner, my perception has changed. With this planner, I cannot write my plans for the day without noticing the columns indicating whether or not I have spent time that day journaling, reading my devotional(s), reading my Bible, and praying. If you enjoy utilizing a planner as much as I do, you’ll understand that there is a sense of satisfaction in being able to check off or cross something off your to-do list; seeing that little check mark or that line drawn through the task is (excuse the expression) a high for me. Knowing that I have checked off those four columns each day makes me feel even better than usual because I know that that represents quality time spent with God, time that sets the tone for the rest of my day, preparing me to deal with the other items on my to-do list or situations that I may have to face. That time is not something separate from the rest of my life; it’s an integral part of it. (more…)

Perfect Imperfections

Growing up, I was often teased about the size of my full lips. Occasionally in school, I was called Big Lips (I know, so original), and made to feel not necessarily like I was ugly, just that there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. I was pretty well-known and well-liked in school, but my voluptuous lips always seemed to grab the attention of kids who apparently did not approve of their size. Of course, as a child and even a teenager, I allowed their unkind words to get into my head, turning something that should have been a source of pride into an insecurity, and I actually began to despise my full lips. I still remember aggressively scrubbing off the lipstick my mother made me wear so my dad could snap a few pictures before my eighth-grade prom. No way was I going to show up to my school with my huge lips smeared with red lipstick, drawing all kinds of unwanted attention. No thanks, Mom, I’m good. No clown jokes tonight.

Another memory is that of my seventh-grade school picture that I detested and that my grandmother loved. I remember cringing inside as I watched, horrified, her proudly propping up the picture frame, putting it on display in her living room for all the world to see. She adored that picture of her “pretty, little grandbaby.” In my mind, it was the ugliest picture I had ever taken, one that needed to be burned and forgotten.

Seriously, if I wanted to, I could sit here and type a long drawn out list of my perceived flaws and a ton of stories about how they’ve negatively impacted my life. I could go on and on about what’s “wrong” with me and how I could possibly correct them. But why do that? As women, we spend entirely too much time mulling over and dissecting our flaws as if there will be an award given out for the woman who can name the highest number of things she perceives to be wrong with herself. “And the award goes to (insert name here), for being the most ashamed of the way she looks! You win the Low Self-Esteem Award!” Nope. Nope. Nope. Sorry.

Ladies, this just makes no sense. No one is perfect. NO ONE IS PERFECT. Have you not seen the videos of the flawless makeup application turning an “ordinary” woman into a bombshell? Do you not know anything about plastic surgery (nips, tucks, injections, lifts)? Have you not heard of angles and lighting and shadows and filters used to enhance pictures? The “perfection” that you see on other women is just an illusion, not some gold standard that you should use to measure yourself. Not to say that some women don’t have beautiful shapes or flawless skin or perfect teeth. However, the one or two “perfections” about that other woman that you fixate on only serve to distract you from everything that is perfect about you. Why give so much time and energy worrying about how someone else looks? Why spend time obsessing over how beautiful someone else is? Why try to change everything about yourself that makes you unique in order to fit in with a bunch of unrealistic expectations about what makes a woman beautiful and worthy of praise?

The world will have us thinking that in order to be beautiful, we must be able to check everything off on a long list of attributes, and if even one of them is missing, then we must fix it or go into hiding, too ashamed or embarrassed to show our face. We all know how it is. You give a woman a compliment and she will promptly deflect it, using her ninja moves to bat it away, quickly pointing out a reason why she doesn’t deserve that compliment. Me? Pretty? Oh, no sir. Have you seen how big my nose is? My hair is such a mess, and I need to lose another 10 pounds. Straight foolishness. (more…)

Encourage Yourself

Sometimes you just have to encourage yourself.

Through the heartache, the pain, the tears, the frustration, the aggravation, the sadness.

Because giving up is not an option.

Giving up is never an option.

Even when it seems the situation is hopeless, it’s not. While you’re going through it, it may seem impossible to see a way out. You may feel lonely, isolated, neglected, rejected. It’s during these hard times, these down times, that we have to encourage ourselves.

 

For me, encouragement is my finding key Bible verses that speak to me and meditating on them. Turning on my worship music and singing and dancing along enjoying the freedom of not focusing on my problems for a while. Writing in my prayer journal, pouring out my heart to God.

I have learned that I can’t wait for the situation to be fixed before I allow myself to feel joy again. I just have to encourage myself, believing that God is working in the situation and that in His perfect timing, I will come out of the problem stronger, wiser, happier. That I will look back at the problem and realize just how small it was compared to my God and laugh about how worried I was.

But while I am in the storm, I have to hold tight to my faith and know that trouble doesn’t last always. That weeping may endure for a night, but joy certainly comes in the morning. I’ve experienced it time and time again. Problems that were meant to break me down ended up working in my favor, and there’s nothing about my past that I would change because that would mean changing the woman that I’ve become.

Therefore, I will be encouraged in knowing that things will get better.

If you’re in the midst of a storm right now, I pray that you will do the same. Encourage yourself! Know that you WILL get through this! No matter how dark the situation is, look for the lesson in it. Think: How can I use this to make me wiser, bolder, stronger? How can I use this to help others? What am I supposed to take away from this trial? 

I guarantee if you start looking at your storms as opportunities to be poured into spiritually, that because of them you can grow into the person you are meant to be, you won’t shrink back from the storms but stand out boldly in the rain because you can see the beauty in your future.

No matter what you’re going through believe that things will get better.

Encourage yourself through it all, and you will be alright.