Month: May 2017

Perfect Imperfections

Growing up, I was often teased about the size of my full lips. Occasionally in school, I was called Big Lips (I know, so original), and made to feel not necessarily like I was ugly, just that there was something wrong with me that needed to be fixed. I was pretty well-known and well-liked in school, but my voluptuous lips always seemed to grab the attention of kids who apparently did not approve of their size. Of course, as a child and even a teenager, I allowed their unkind words to get into my head, turning something that should have been a source of pride into an insecurity, and I actually began to despise my full lips. I still remember aggressively scrubbing off the lipstick my mother made me wear so my dad could snap a few pictures before my eighth-grade prom. No way was I going to show up to my school with my huge lips smeared with red lipstick, drawing all kinds of unwanted attention. No thanks, Mom, I’m good. No clown jokes tonight.

Another memory is that of my seventh-grade school picture that I detested and that my grandmother loved. I remember cringing inside as I watched, horrified, her proudly propping up the picture frame, putting it on display in her living room for all the world to see. She adored that picture of her “pretty, little grandbaby.” In my mind, it was the ugliest picture I had ever taken, one that needed to be burned and forgotten.

Seriously, if I wanted to, I could sit here and type a long drawn out list of my perceived flaws and a ton of stories about how they’ve negatively impacted my life. I could go on and on about what’s “wrong” with me and how I could possibly correct them. But why do that? As women, we spend entirely too much time mulling over and dissecting our flaws as if there will be an award given out for the woman who can name the highest number of things she perceives to be wrong with herself. “And the award goes to (insert name here), for being the most ashamed of the way she looks! You win the Low Self-Esteem Award!” Nope. Nope. Nope. Sorry.

Ladies, this just makes no sense. No one is perfect. NO ONE IS PERFECT. Have you not seen the videos of the flawless makeup application turning an “ordinary” woman into a bombshell? Do you not know anything about plastic surgery (nips, tucks, injections, lifts)? Have you not heard of angles and lighting and shadows and filters used to enhance pictures? The “perfection” that you see on other women is just an illusion, not some gold standard that you should use to measure yourself. Not to say that some women don’t have beautiful shapes or flawless skin or perfect teeth. However, the one or two “perfections” about that other woman that you fixate on only serve to distract you from everything that is perfect about you. Why give so much time and energy worrying about how someone else looks? Why spend time obsessing over how beautiful someone else is? Why try to change everything about yourself that makes you unique in order to fit in with a bunch of unrealistic expectations about what makes a woman beautiful and worthy of praise?

The world will have us thinking that in order to be beautiful, we must be able to check everything off on a long list of attributes, and if even one of them is missing, then we must fix it or go into hiding, too ashamed or embarrassed to show our face. We all know how it is. You give a woman a compliment and she will promptly deflect it, using her ninja moves to bat it away, quickly pointing out a reason why she doesn’t deserve that compliment. Me? Pretty? Oh, no sir. Have you seen how big my nose is? My hair is such a mess, and I need to lose another 10 pounds. Straight foolishness. (more…)

Encourage Yourself

Sometimes you just have to encourage yourself.

Through the heartache, the pain, the tears, the frustration, the aggravation, the sadness.

Because giving up is not an option.

Giving up is never an option.

Even when it seems the situation is hopeless, it’s not. While you’re going through it, it may seem impossible to see a way out. You may feel lonely, isolated, neglected, rejected. It’s during these hard times, these down times, that we have to encourage ourselves.

 

For me, encouragement is my finding key Bible verses that speak to me and meditating on them. Turning on my worship music and singing and dancing along enjoying the freedom of not focusing on my problems for a while. Writing in my prayer journal, pouring out my heart to God.

I have learned that I can’t wait for the situation to be fixed before I allow myself to feel joy again. I just have to encourage myself, believing that God is working in the situation and that in His perfect timing, I will come out of the problem stronger, wiser, happier. That I will look back at the problem and realize just how small it was compared to my God and laugh about how worried I was.

But while I am in the storm, I have to hold tight to my faith and know that trouble doesn’t last always. That weeping may endure for a night, but joy certainly comes in the morning. I’ve experienced it time and time again. Problems that were meant to break me down ended up working in my favor, and there’s nothing about my past that I would change because that would mean changing the woman that I’ve become.

Therefore, I will be encouraged in knowing that things will get better.

If you’re in the midst of a storm right now, I pray that you will do the same. Encourage yourself! Know that you WILL get through this! No matter how dark the situation is, look for the lesson in it. Think: How can I use this to make me wiser, bolder, stronger? How can I use this to help others? What am I supposed to take away from this trial? 

I guarantee if you start looking at your storms as opportunities to be poured into spiritually, that because of them you can grow into the person you are meant to be, you won’t shrink back from the storms but stand out boldly in the rain because you can see the beauty in your future.

No matter what you’re going through believe that things will get better.

Encourage yourself through it all, and you will be alright.